Episode 12: Navigating the gains and losses - Part 1 

 

Janna: Hi friends, this is Janna. I'm an Alzheimer's driver. This is Larry, her husband, who's thriving right along with her. 

 

Larry: Today we're going to talk about the gains and losses on our journey and adventure with our buddy Al. 

 

Janna: And I call it an adventure because guess what? If I can't change anything about it and I can't, it's better. There's the Al. I may as well call it an adventure. Here are some of the things my buddy Al has given me. It starts with low vision, smell, and taste. 

 

Larry: And then he's given you loss of short-term memory. And loss of long-term memory. 

Not completely, but just to mean it's affected, right? Okay, so let's talk about some of those things. So first of all, how have you worked around the low vision part? 

 

Janna: I have worked around the low vision part by looking at the big picture and deducing what things are going on in front of me. But guess what? I don't actually ID the face. 

 

Larry: So facial recognition? Yeah. Okay, and your smell, so that's been affected too. 

 

Janna: I don't smell bad. 

 

You don't smell anything. You've conquered all the bad smell. 

 

All right, and so I guess that wouldn't affect us unless we're smelling smoke or it is nice to have a sense of smell, but the fact that it's gone, is it pretty much gone all the way, or have you lost gradually? 

 

Janna: Not all the way, but you know, I love to eat. And because of the diet we have, I can eat as much as I want, but it's kind of like it's never satisfying because I really taste it so well. 

 

Larry: Yeah, so the taste, that's part smell and taste are connected. 

 

Janna:  I pretend I can really taste. 

 

Larry: You seem to have a good attitude about it. So, you, you've obviously you're not obsessing about it. You just sort of do what you do. 

 

Janna: Oh, no, I, I obsess. I go, oh, I'm so sad when I go to put my foot down hard and go, no, Janna, you're not going to go down that route. So just stop it. Get going. 

 

Larry: So, a couple of other losses, you know, the short-term memory loss. 

 

Janna: What did you say? What did you say? 

 

Larry: You're silly. 

 

Janna: Got to be keeps me alive. 

 

Larry: So, a lot of reminders and a lot of repetition. People who read probably put posts-its all over the place and they probably put little reminders on their phone, or their care partner puts reminders on their phone. 

 

Janna: I tried that. Yeah, I tried that. And I wrote the, I can still write, and I keep practicing writing. And I look up, and I put what I wrote, and I even if there's three letters, I can't read them. There's one letter, and then when the second one comes, they merge in my mind. 

It's weird. 

 

Larry: Yeah. So, everybody's kind of at a different place. Many of these people will not have a problem reading and they can write little post-its for themselves and that sort of thing. On the long-term memory... a lot of times I will relate a story that happened to us... now, we've been married 48 years. That's a lot of years. And we have a lot of memories. 

 

Janna: (Speaking to her sons) Keep that date in your mind, sons. 

 

Larry: But a workaround for that... Let's say that a person doesn't have someone who's been with them that long or maybe they lost a lot of loved ones, and they don't interact as much. What about... you wrote a book? You wrote a book Quadruplets, a Love Story back when you were able to type, and you were able to do that and it was published. 

 

Janna: And then before I as I had a hard time typing, I just started dictating and then editing dictate editing. 

 

Larry: And I remember you saying, I remember you saying that. (I'm sorry, did you want to finish that thought?) 

 

Janna: Okay, I just thinking, what's going on?  I mean, why can't I say it, and remember it when it gets my past my mouth? 

 

Larry: ...at this point. But the nice thing is, is that you have that book and even if even if no one reads it. I remember you saying, “I want to do this as a legacy ...I want to be able to my family to know, you know, what it was like, raising quadruplets.” And I'm sure everybody out there who is listening to this has their own story that's probably pretty cool at various times, of things they've done ...adventures and whatnot. 

 

Janna: Yes, memorable. 

 

Larry: They're not going to write and publish a book, most of them. That was pretty unique, and you did such a good job on it. 

 

Janna: And to that end, I would really recommend that people write down or record their memories because you never know when you might have a little loss of memory. And it's such a treasure. I can't tell you. I go back about once a month and listen to my whole book. 

 

Larry: Tell everybody what you have been able to do as you listen to your book and what that's meant. 

 

Janna: It's such a blessing because of that I can play my book and listen to a few pages and it reminds me of events. And when you get, if you read the book at the end, you'll see what it says at the end and you go, oh, this all moves together. 

 

This all moved together. And it's like it was planned. 

 

Larry: And a lot of times you'll listen to it ...It's up on “Audible” too. So, we've downloaded the book. 

 

Janna: Does everybody know what Audible means? Because I sure didn't know it. And then I I said, “Okay, I can dictate that. And I tried to dictate the first couple sentences. And of course, I stumbled. So, I found it a professional. 

 

Larry: You have a professional person, Adrian Fleming, who has like 20 books on Audible. 

 

Janna: Audible is fantastic. She speaks with expression. It's wonderful. Everything you want. 

 

Larry: It's part of Amazon. So, but it's kind of a separate site. You can go to Audible. If you if you've never done it, it's just an eBook that's on Amazon. It's just one of the many outlets for the eBooks out there. 

 

Janna: It's read by somebody who is an excellent Narrator. 

 

Larry: Yeah. She's an actress. 

 

Janna: Expressive, right? 

 

Larry: Yeah. So, you're listening to your story and it's reminding you, well, that that story covered 18 years of raising the boys. So, you go out, you'll take a little walk, you'll put in your earbuds, and you'll listen to some pages. And what's nice is that it's a constant reminder. You never get tired of it because when you listen to it, it's like, oh... 

 

Janna: New, fresh every time. 

 

Janna: Well, probably not new. 

 

Janna: A little bit more familiar every time. 

 

Larry: Another workaround would be if people can see pretty well,  would be the albums, of  pictures. 

 

Janna: Sure. 

 

Larry: And what I have to do is, I have to mirror the phone up on the 65-inch TV to show pictures for you so that you can make them out. 

 

Janna: And there in all I can see it, I can see the edges and you can tell me their face, (Janna struggles to explain this. Larry helps) But I can't focus zoom in on it ...recognize the person. 

 

Larry: But if I'm able to remind you of some of the things that are up there, that in itself ... like our trip to Ireland... I mean, we didn't take a whole lot of trips, but you know, we talk about some of the things that we did there. And some of it will come back and some of them won't. But our memories are such a big part. 

 

Janna: Precious. 

 

Larry: Yeah, and it's tough. It's tough when you lose that. 

 

All right, let's talk about some of the gains now because what has our buddy, AL give you that might be helpful? One of the things I've noticed is your easy laugh that you have now. 

 

Janna: Yeah, like they say, may as well laugh. Don't cry. 

 

Larry: But I mean, I think I'm the funniest guy in the world in our relationship because I think something's funny, and I'll say it. But you actually laugh at my jokes now. 

 

Janna: Yeah, and I used to be pretty flat before ... (Sarcastically) Ha, Ha, Ha. But now its new “Well there’s a new one.” (laughing). 

 

Larry: And you’ve gained a musical ear. You are no longer able to read the musical notes. So you're having to learn the music by listening. 

 

Janna: I don't know what they say. 

 

Larry: And what about gratitude for the many things, the little things in life? You gained in that area? Like what? 

 

Janna: What's it called empathy to empathy? 

 

Larry: But what about the little things in life that you are appreciating, like when you go outside, and when you look out the window? 

 

Janna: Well, even when I first wake up when I'm so appreciative of a big breath of air, when I breathe it in, I feel the revived. 

 

Larry: And that's good. 

 

Janna: And the birds. The birds. Yeah, we have a lot of birds in our yard. And what are they kind of? We got that owl at night. That owl. There he is. And I feel like, oh, he's talking to me. Yeah, I talk back, and he thinks, I think he's talking back to me. 

 

Larry: He's just thinking you're too big for him to eat. So, he's just hooting at you, “Get out of here. 

 

Janna: It's beautiful sound. 

 

Larry: Yes, it is. And we've got six or seven of them around that sort of talk to each other. 

 

Janna: And as soon as I start to hear my lips go up in this big smile. 

 

Larry: So the little things in life. I can tell you ...that whenever you see a little kid or hear a little kid, you're like, “Oh, where's the little kid? Where's the little kid?” 

 

Janna: It makes me smile. 

 

Larry: We love we love just watching them. 

 

Janna: And your parents who have little children and you love them. Having had quadruplets, you know, I know it is a bit of a challenge having kids and just ...as you get older, and maybe they're gone, you'll treasure those memories, I hope. it's really rich. 

 

Larry: Now you've really had to discipline yourself to do some things that maybe before came easily. And that's probably a benefit because you're getting things done. Like we do the cross words every day. 

 

Janna: I'm so grateful and you don't make me read the props because I couldn't read them. But you read them, and you give me some time. You want to say about how you do the rhythm of that? 

 

Larry: We did that on one of the podcasts. 

 

Janna: (Tongue in cheek). I knew that. I was just testing you. 

 

Larry: And you do your mental reviews every day. Kids names, what day is it, those kinds of things ...you discipline yourself. You woodshed on the musical activities. 

 

 Janna: Sorry sons and daughters and all, grandkids. I have to do that. I spend five, 10, 15 minutes remembering people's names, the order they're in, approximately where they live. 

 

Larry: So, I would love to know. I would love to know how you are processing the losses and turning it into a game on the other side. It's not a direct correlation. But it seems like you're focusing on the gains and you're focusing on disciplining yourself to do what you can do. So, how's that going and how do you do that? 

 

Janna: It's all about being grateful and being receptive and realizing that the answer's out there, but I have to be patient. So I'll wake up a little bit. Okay, I’m awake and I ask myself, “Is it daytime, is it nighttime?” because we take two little naps each day so when I wakeup and I’m not sure which end of the clock it is ...but I just wait and breathe and wait and wait and if I can't get oriented, I'm not sure if it's early or late. I walk around and identify things. 

Well, you know, if you're own self when you're thinking about something and you get kind of down on it, you're not looking forward to it, you can decide what can I do to turn this around a little bit or what can I do to get closer to the goal that I am at ...I find it starts out with raising my cheeks and smiling and then by thinking, okay, what's my goal here right now? I want to think of to that to that whatever it is. Don't not some big hairy thing but just a small goal to start getting me  focused. 

 

Larry: Yeah, and then you've told me that maybe you can think about stuff you... 

 

Janna: ...still can do and bathe in that joy. 

 

Larry: Well, that's certainly a positive note to end on. So, gains and losses, this is Part 1 of the gains and losses episodes. 

 

Janna: And be patient when you're waiting to think what to be grateful for ...it can take time, so don't be in a rush. 

 

Larry: So, until next time... 

 

This is Janna, an Alzheimer's ThriverTM 

 

And this is Larry saying that being a Care Partner is a mission of life that is wonderful because it's filled with love and challenges and adventure and I'm having that along with my wife. So... 

 

Janna: ...signing off. 

 

Oh, I just want more thing. If you would like to hear these podcasts on your favorite platform, you can check it out because we've hired a company that spreads it out to every podcast platform. If you want to share it with your friends, you can. And be sure to follow us because by doing that, you'll get an update as to when we have these come out. We are going to try to do these every two weeks. So, just look for the little hamburger menu or the little three buttons or perhaps it'll just say following or follow this person. It'll have a different things on different platforms, but look for that that would follow and that would be how you do it. Okay, till next time. See ya. 

 

 

 

🔗 Supporting Articles & Research: 

Here are related studies and expert articles to deepen your understanding of the ideas discussed in this episode: 

1. Memory Loss and the Power of Reminiscence 

• Title: Reminiscence Therapy for Dementia 
  Source: Verywell Health 
  This accessible article outlines how reminiscence therapy gently encourages individuals to recall and share positive memories using familiar prompts like photos, music, or meaningful objects. It presents evidence that the therapy can enhance memory, mood, and overall well-being, which aligns with the themes of connection and resilience that Janna and Larry explore. 

 

2. Creativity and Self-Expression in Alzheimer’s 

• Title: Art and Music Therapy in Alzheimer’s 
  Source: Alzheimer's.org 
  Music and art therapy sessions can be held in groups or individually. 

 

3. The Power of Gratitude in Coping with Chronic Illness 

• Title: Gratitude and Well-being: The Benefits of Being Thankful 
  Source: Harvard Health Publishing 
  Research supporting the mental and physical benefits of gratitude, even in the face of illness. 

4. Maintaining Daily Structure with Cognitive Decline 

• Title: Tips for Daily Routines for Alzheimer’s Caregivers 
  Source: Alzheimer’s Association 
  Suggests how daily structure, mental cues, and small goals can improve quality of life and reduce stress. 

5. Audiobooks and Legacy Projects for Dementia Patients 

• Title: The Benefits of Journaling 
  Source: Bella Grove 
  Examines how recorded personal histories can aid memory recall and offer emotional comfort.